To quit smoking... yeah, that failed. Who would have thought? haha

it failed within 30 seconds of 2008

Ten years huh? Well... that's really a long ways from now. Hell, I don't even know where I'll be in one year. Hopefully in one year, I'll have transfered from school into somewhere that I can get a degree that will mean something. In ten years... I  don't know. I guess i hope that I'll have graduated, I'll be making a decent income, i'll still have my best friends, and possibly have someone that I can care about.

I'm so glad I'm not angry anymore. I really had no reason to be. I was so pissed off at everyone
and I didn't even realize how angry I was. I don't even realize what happened tonight that
helped me come to this realization. I think it was watching the wonder years, and short circuit 2
and actually laughing and having a good time that helped me.

I realized how pissed off I was at Vanessa for no reason at all. The girl that I love and enjoy
spending time with. I was so angry and resentful that i was putting so much effort into trying
to spend time with her, and felt that she didn't care as much as I did. I know her and I know
that shes like that a lot. I was so pissed off that she would never call me back when she
specially told me she would. I felt pissed that she was putting no effort into our friendship.
Who can blame her? I was so angry and I sounded it on the phone. Why would she want to spend
time with someone so pissed or even talk to them. Would I?

I want to spend time with her at some point and tell her how much I've missed her. Missed
spending so much time with her. Talking to her for hours daily, hearing about her fantastic
days, her horrible days, her emotions. I miss looking at her the most, she was is so beautiful
not only physically, but she has such a beautiful soul. Tomorrow I want to talk to her, I want
to tell her that I miss her. I am far too embarrassedand afraid of the terrible rejection
that will come with telling her how beautiful she is.

Funny... I'm too scared of rejection again, but there are no intentions. I mean I would love to
be with her, but that's not why I want to tell her shes beautiful. I want her to know that
i see how great she is.


I really need to get over her. This is really going no where. Why is it so hard to get over!

I'm so glad I'm not angry anymore. I really had no reason to be. I was so pissed off at everyone
and I didn't even realize how angry I was. I don't even realize what happened tonight that
helped me come to this realization. I think it was watching the wonder years, and short circuit 2
and actually laughing and having a good time that helped me.

I realized how pissed off I was at Vanessa for no reason at all. The girl that I love and enjoy
spending time with. I was so angry and resentful that i was putting so much effort into trying
to spend time with her, and felt that she didn't care as much as I did. I know her and I know
that shes like that a lot. I was so pissed off that she would never call me back when she
specially told me she would. I felt pissed that she was putting no effort into our friendship.
Who can blame her? I was so angry and I sounded it on the phone. Why would she want to spend
time with someone so pissed or even talk to them. Would I?

I want to spend time with her at some point and tell her how much I've missed her. Missed
spending so much time with her. Talking to her for hours daily, hearing about her fanstastic
days, her horrible days, her emotions. I miss looking at her the most, she was is so beauitful
not only physically, but she has such a beautiful soul. Tomorrow I want to talk to her, I want
to tell her that I miss her. I am far too embarassed and afraid of the terrible rejection
that will come with telling her how beautiful she is.

Funny... I'm too scared of rejection again, but there are no intentions. I mean I would love to
be with her, but that's not why I want to tell her shes beautiful. I want her to know that
i see how great she is.


I really need to get over her. This is really going no where. Why is it so hard to get over!